Saints Row The Third

Following the tread marks of its predecessors, Saints Row - The Third is an open-world action-adventure, in an urban setting of speed and violence. No longer struggling against rival crime families and meddling authorities, the Third Street Saints now rule the city of Stillwater - and have everything to lose. Persevering in their gangland domination through the first two urban adventures, the Saints have risen from the criminal underworld to become a household brand name - and a well-marketed one at that, with t-shirts, bobble-head dolls, and other tchotchke eagerly bought up by the amenable (if not adoring) Stillwater populace. A municipal treasury's worth of wealth and power at their disposal, the Saints now have easy access to over-armed tanks and laser-equipped experimental aircraft, as...

• Adrian September 14, 2012 PS3

  ****

  Best open world sandbox game I've ever played, GTA who?

• Andrew Highton September 10, 2012 PS3

  ****

  Noun 1.fun - activities that are enjoyable or amusing
  
  This definition is the only way to start this review as it will be constant theme throughout.
  
  The Saints are back and are looking to create the most ludicrous, insane, and downright obscene game made to date. I actually will stick my neck on the line here and say that Saint's Row 3 vociferously succeeds. Warning: if phallic objects, nudity, vulgarity and over-the-top violence aren't for you then still read on anyway.
  
  The Saints take it upon themselves to avenge the death of one of their fallen comrades by taking over the city of Steelport. The organisation known as the Syndicate is comprised of 3 sub-organisations: Morningstar, Deckers and Luchadores. Capturing all the businesses and territory owned by the Syndicate would destroy their profits and bring them down from within. This doesn't sit well with Kilbane (the sadistic leader of the Luchadores and eventual leader of the Syndicate as a whole) and he makes it his mission to eliminate the Saints before their eventual prominence takes over.
  
  I mean, there is definitely substance to the story as a whole, in a game without plausibility. From the word go, you're thrust into a bank heist that goes badly wrong and you're fighting off more heavily armoured enemies than the People's Liberation Army of China. If that wasn't enough, the next mission is essentially a free fall from a destroyed aircraft whilst you're blowing up tanks! Thankfully the adrenaline and high-octane action gets toned down as this kind of frenetic pace for a whole game would have probably blown the console up. But I think Volition is (in the nicest way possible) trying to spray you with mace and say "Welcome to our playground".
  
  As a whole, the story is actually quite decent, it's not the best by any means but it kept me right to the end and I wanted to actually stand tall as head of Steelport with my stupidly dressed character wielding a fart in a jar. I do like the fact that several times throughout the story you get the choice of what you want to do. For instance, after clearing out a rival headquarters, you have the choice of blowing up the entire building or keeping it for yourself. One option grants you additional respect for every mission completed, whereas the other option grants you extra money. It's not massively important, obviously, but it's in keeping with the freedom and nature of the sandbox genre of allowing you to do what YOU want to do. It's all interwoven together to create cohesiveness and try to create the big picture of the Saints decline and its rivals ascending the dominance hierarchy.
  
  In the 19 years I've been alive on this planet, I can safely say this is just the most bizarre story in terms of the different scenarios you come across. One particular mission had me locate someone in a house full of S&M activity, people in gimp suits and an abundance of mechanical sex toys. I also found the idea of the character Zimos to be absolute genius; he's a pimp as traditional as any. But his entire dialogue in the game is auto-tuned, that's a great modern insert I think and its comedy gold!
  
  If you've never played a Saint's Row game before then your reaction to the game could very well be mixed. You will both love the audacity of it all and thrive on creating yet more fun chaos in your sandbox world. Or you will inevitably find the game to be immature, juvenile and repellent; it's just impossible to have a middle ground. From running in front of cars to earn money in insurance fraud to strolling through the deserted streets of Steelport in a tank and blowing up ANYTHING. The unpredictably of Saints Row is evident with the world around you seemingly having a screw or two loose. You'll be walking along and then a sports car will come tearing down the street, with more horse power than the Grand National 10 times over, and run down a group of innocent people. Yes it's sick, but this isn't supposed to be realistic and that's what makes it acceptable and funny. You even get people randomly starting fights with each other; coupled with the famous "The Penetrator" this is undeniably the crazy playground that is Saints Row.
  
  Level progression for your character is fairly routine in that you earn "respect" by completing activities, missions and performing random stunts e.g drive in the oncoming lane, doing barrel rolls etc. There is a set level cap and along the way you will slowly unlock different upgrades, the ability to call in bigger gangs, new and better vehicles. As with all things it gets to the point where you've bought everything and your money becomes more useful as expensive toilet paper.
  
  You cannot fault the fun and variety of things you have to do in the game. On top of all the activities to do, you've got hidden collectibles (collectibles that are custom made to suit Saint's Row's mature style) With missions, assassination's, lots of cumulative challenges, collectables etc; you have so much to do. If you somehow grow tired of the missions and novelty side-options, then you can always just order a helicopter and your trust companion, Oleg, and unleash hell on the city. As for Tiger escort.....I think you can already guess what that entails.
  
  But, some of the activities are very boring and when it gets to the stage where you dread doing them then that's not a good sign for a game. Two of the activities had the same concept of shoot whilst someone else commandeers the vehicle. One activity of this is grossly repetitive enough, but two of them? Also, I think the game lacked any true form of racing which is an easy thing to implement and with the craziness of the game then you could've surely had fun races throughout the town, maybe even a kind of rooftop demolition derby? A very strange decision in my opinion. Another slight downside is that the game features glitches and unforeseen problems that dampen the fun just a tad. Cars stuck in walls, pedestrians going AWOL and the AI's efforts at delivering your vehicles is laughable at times. But a kind of right-wrong is that it makes the game a bit more enjoyable just because of the general nature of it.
  
  I have to give great credit to the ever inventive customisability of the game however, anyone who's anyone should be aware of the outrageously twisted combinations you can have your character be/look like. You could try and be a suave and sophisticated member of society with your sensible attire and pretend like you give a damn. Or you can join the overwhelming consensus of wearing a ridiculous thong and sporting an eye-patch to look as off-putting as possible in your cut scenes. (We all do it, don't say you don't!)
  
  On a visual level the game is nice and the environments are as nice as they can be. They aren't eye-catchingly, shin-breakingly amazing..but that's not what Saint's Row is about. The explosions are big and colourful, there are colours aplenty and the variety of noise is great. The radio stations provide you with your own diversity to choose from as each station is assigned to a particular genre e.g rap, metal, pop etc. You also have the freedom to put all your favourite songs into a playlist which is quite useful. If you want to combine the saxophone madness of Benny Banassi with the brutal hard-hitting guitar riffs of Amon Amarth; then so be it.
  
  Saint's Row: The Third is a much better step forward from the second game as it gets so much right. If you find your enjoyment waning slightly, then go do a mission and see what ridiculousness is on the horizon. Maybe pilot a hovercraft or amorously express you love for the public by streaking. The game constantly tries to innovate and redefine the meaning of the word fun. It has flaws that are obvious but it would be cynical to suggest this was going to be one of the greatest games ever made. I've done well to tip-toe around the legendary competition this game has and the boring age-old comparisons it has to contend with; but if I must. Grand Theft Auto, recently, has focused around incredible realism and tries to have your experience dictated by how real-life would happen around you. Accurate physics, sane people who don't try and kill each other for no reason and such. You cannot compare these franchises right now as they're so far away from each other in what they deliver and it's for the best. Realistically, Grand Theft Auto will always have this market, actually let me rephrase that. Grand Theft Auto has all the markets imaginable but Saint's Row has really stepped up and made a name for itself. If you've gotten in from work and you feel a bit stressed or that beer just isn't doing it. Simply put Saint's Row on and you'll be laughing your childish arse off before you realise how old you are and that you still find it funny.